A “formative” experience. In quotes because I was 23 and experienced. I didn’t get a girl I wanted after she and I messed around. I was an idiot because she was bad news. But young passion blinds, which is why boys off themselves over a piece of tail.

In my oneitis, I chatted up an older man I looked up to, my boss at work. Didn’t know what exactly to ask him, but it was the same question that nearly two decades later will have led ten million young men to google their way to Heartiste’s archives.

I didn’t expect the older man to solve my problem or to play Robin Williams to my Matt Damon, but… it would have lightened my load if he had at least said “That’s a damn good question.” A sympathetic pat on the back would have, maybe, made me forget the chick and pumped me up to charm the panties off another one.

Instead, his face took on a satisfied look as he said “Yeah, I married a good one.” That’s when I understood that there are no mentors. Nobody gives a shit about me, is what sunk in. It was a liberating epiphany because it forced me to accept two things: that I have to figure everything out for myself, and that I have to take what I want with nobody’s help.

I learned to walk on my own.

Boomers had severed every inter-generational link of accumulated wisdom and let GenXers and Millennials out into the world ignorant and deracinated. We’re fixing what’s broken.

Back to love: it’s incomprehensible to me, today, that someone can put a loaded gun to his temple and squeeze the trigger over a gash. It’s a matter of age. At 45’ish now, I can imagine having an affair with a lithe little college girl. It would be fun, laughs, rape-lust at first fuck. But having the kinds of feelings that would drive a man to reckon with his life? No way. There is someone I would die (and kill) for, and it’s not hypothetical-her.

I do feel love. It’s for a woman who is a beautiful mother. She believes that a boy needs his daddy and her every act, touch, and gesture follows that axiom.

A 23-year-old or a fifteen-year-old man today is somewhere else. Unlike me now, he’d kill himself over a fling. His prospects are also tougher than mine were. I didn’t have to work around obesity, Tinder, or zoophilia.

But he has the one thing that I didn’t: tradition.




33 thoughts on “Love

  1. Maybe he was jealous of you. It’s a well known fact women get jealous of other women, but not as well known that men also get jealous of one and other. Either way, jealousy of other men is an unappealing quality, and an emotion a man should try not to give into.

  2. Pingback: Love | Reaction Times

  3. I learned when I had a bad love and almost every one of my ‘friends’ didn’t help me at all.

    BTW found out you were polish ancestry too. I wrote up about how badass the Hussars were on my blog.

  4. — so they could get easy sex

    I got a “holy shit” feeling from watching Animal House for the first time ever about five years ago.

    Textbook and blatant subverting of America. I left a very long comment on the old GLPiggy blog about that, wish I’d saved it. From memory now, the story had Jewish sexual inadequacy projection (impotent frat leader) and corruption of the White woman (the dean’s wife in the grocery store).

    The movie culminates with all of the White Power (i.e., the town and university authorities) getting knocked down at a town parade, red-white-blue streamers mixing with the debris as the bleachers on which they sat collapse.

    During closing credits, the viewer is informed that one goy frat brother goes to prison and gets ass-raped daily (hahahah!) — you know, just good clean Jewish comedy about college hi-jinx — and then they tell you that the ROTC student gets fragged in Vietnam (hahahahahahaha!)

    People watched that subversive shit, nobody had any idea. People identified with the Jewish-led slob-underdogs and “hated” the Aryan antagonists. This was even more blatant in Porky’s and Revenge of the Nerds (especially in both movies’ sequels).

    They sold easy sex in the 70s/80s. Come 1990 and … out with banging sorority girls, in with Date Rape and Sexual Harassment.

  5. Boomers had severed every inter-generational link of accumulated wisdom and let GenXers and Millennials out into the world ignorant and deracinated. We’re fixing what’s broken.

    The verdict on the Boomer legacy I think has been solidified and is all around negative from both the left and the right perspectives. It was an avaricious, gluttonous generation, and I know many Boomers who would wholeheartedly agree with that, including my own mother and father. They enjoyed the good feelz of diversity while pushing the negative externalities onto their children, just like they did with the debt and unfunded liabilities of medicare and social security.

    As someone on the Gen X / Millennial cusp, I simply can’t engage in a political dialog with the vast majority of Boomers because their mental frame is so vastly divergent from mine. I know it goes beyond simply “the old folks just don’t get it” because I am easily able to find common ground with folks from the Greatest Generation or Silent Generation. Their is a unique blinkeredness to the Boomers that comes from them being the center of attention since the 60’s combined with an unprecedented run of extreme post-war material prosperity.

  6. MGE – ’83 here, so I presume I am in a similar (maybe slightly younger) boat than you. Both parents born in ’53. I have had quite a bit of success red-pilling my mother, even think that she is starting to see the JQ pattern (she has proactively brought it up once).

    My father, however, is fucking hopeless. Magna cum laude from an Ivy League school, he is very intelligent, is a professional in the historical sense (i.e. doctor, lawyer), is a conservative, and just cannot even be in the same room while I talk politics. His Jewish friend blinds him to the JQ; he worships on the altar of WWII guilt, and seems (I cannot pin him down on this) to think that multiculturalism will work in the end.

    Boomers are poison.

  7. In my experience, Boomers see things as beyond their control. This society got out of control and too big (too scaled-up), after world world 2 and that was the experience of their youth and that was what they were rebelling against.

    So from their perspective they don’t see themselves as giving away something, because it was not theirs to being with.

    The White world of the 50s and 60s was already scaled-up to the point that it was out of their hands.

    A big part of that scaling up was Progress and Technology and Easy Energy in the form of Oil.

    It is frustrating though. Anyone not willing to admit that multi-culturalism is a bad deal, is an ostrich at this point, to put it mildly.

  8. The stupid town-cryer (the weekly municipal publication) comes in the mail every Tuesday and the are celebrating Diversity on the cover, of these high schools (my old school) with three thick female nogs and one blonde girl jumping out and off the ground and shouting yay.

    And this is a Diversity Commission paid for out of (my) property taxes.

    At the actual high school, there is an outreach from the municipal government, about how to celebrate diversity.

    Those are the City Council that the people here elect, doing that.

    So you kind of have to conclude, that people are idiots.

    It’s not just gas lighting. Those are locally elected representative, nine out of ten white, spending the local tax dollars, and putting pictures of ugly nogs celebrating diversity on their publication, as if it’s a great thing.

    I guarantee that half the retired White men seeing that are disgusted.

  9. I have had quite a bit of success red-pilling my mother. . .My father, however, is fucking hopeless.

    My situation exactly. My mom was red-pilled early in life by going to majority black public schools in the rust belt. She is alt-lite, huge fan of Milo and Stefan Molyneux. My dad grew up in all white environs, and to throughout his life has made great pains to associate with only whites, but that does not stop him of course from espousing the wonders of diversity, and on that matter he is cucked to the core. (One of his favorite movies in fact is The Blind Side, in which Julia Roberts adopts a pet negro who went on to become an offensive lineman in the NFL). He is the prototypical Boomer Christian Fox News watching conservadad* who is essentially a liberal except when it comes to abortion and taxes. What’s frustrating is like so many Boomers, he is so mentally rigid he is unable to even countenance an idea that isn’t pre-approved by the National Review, the WSJ, or Fox News. He would never be able to go on the internet and explore dissident material. Recently I had a discussion with him about the incident with Charles Murray at Middleberry college (broached by him because it was in the WSJ of course). He didn’t understand what the students were protesting. I then pivoted the discussion to HBD, gently introducing some rather banal observations about blacks visa vis Asians, so as to completely leave out the radioactive core of the matter, which is white people. He immediately saw where that discussion was going, he panicked and shut down the discussion with the assertion that all racial differences were 100% cultural, no if’s and’s or but’s. I then asked why he believed that despite mounting genetic evidence to the contrary, and he responded “That’s just what I believe. It’s cultural.” Discussion over.


  10. John McWhorter recently wrote a piece for National Review about race and IQ. He basically says, it’s probably true but we shouldn’t talk about it because it’s mean.

    Again this demonstrates a general tendency among blacks and other “minos”, even smart blacks like McWhorter, which I have noted in my extensive life long experiences with them, and was finally articulated by Larry Auster and PA. The disposition is one of complete disregard or failure to conceive of whites as actual embodied people capable of possessing a group interest that doesn’t serve them… I forgot exactly how Auster worded it but it was brilliant.

    The question I would pose to McWhorter is, so you think it’s mean to blacks to talk about race and iq differences… but don’t you think it’s mean to continue to blame whites for “the gap” or all manner of social ills that afflict your people? You don’t think it’s mean to lie and propagandize whites into not noticing or talking about these differences? You want intellectual honesty in all matters except those that make you and yours look bad?

    I don’t want to be too harsh on McWhorter, who is normally very even handed and frequently goes against the PC racial orthodoxy. During the BLM uprising, he even researched police shootings of white males, admitted that there is not a huge racial discrepancy, and published a piece in Time about how the media is promoting a false narrative… yet still on the matter of IQ, he simply can’t get past his cog-dis. Perhaps it has something to do with him being an academic, where IQ and intellectualism is the currency of social advancement. In my experience, outside certain rarified institutions and professions, most people don’t give a lick about IQ.

  11. — He basically says, it’s probably true but we shouldn’t talk about it because it’s mean.

    I had a paragraph about civil nationalism in the below-linked post. Not sure if I wrote the bolded passage in the cited paragraph below with 100% clarity. What I meant was what you said above: in the Reagan era, which was the heyday of civic nationalism, society was arranged in line with the realities of HBD, but there would be two concessions to blacks in exchange for peace: (1) they would be materially taken care of, and (2) we wouldn’t rub their inferiority in their faces by openly talking about certain things.

    That second concession made fertile ground for the rise of Political Correctness. I still remember circa 1990, when media messaging, and the feel in the air in general, was one of pity for blacks (and by extension, for everyone else who would soon fall under PC’s umbrella). The media infused that pity with Guilt via all kinds of channels in the education/entertainment complex, creating in our minds a paralysis and with it, an inability to coherently frame a rejection of PC.

    It was a weird time. You could visualize a wasp straddling a frog, injecting eggs along with temporary paralysis-inducing toxins under its skin, the poor frog all the while darting its eyes wildly side to side, and just sitting there looking cool (because what else are you supposed to do?)

    “Civic nationalism appears to be incoherent or dishonest because it is. But as recently as three decades ago it worked because it was a compromise that relied on a tacit agreement among U.S. citizens of all backgrounds that the national culture will be based on Protestant values, that Whites are going to be a solid majority with the responsibility of running the country, that minorities (such a quaint word now) will enjoy the fruits of our labor and retain a desired measure of autonomy while remaining respectful of the prevailing norms, and that immigrants, allowed in on a color-blind basis, will “assimilate.” Also — and this was key — that certain taboos will be honored in a let’s not discuss it way, said taboos hinging on the more uncomfortable realities of human biodiversity and Whites’ natural disgust with mixing.”

  12. The funny thing about Animal House is that I bet the clean cut, all American types were the ones who most appealed to movie viewers. They had to have one good looking, all American fraternity brother (Time Matheson’s character) in order to give the Delta fraternity a cool factor.

  13. My guess is McWhorter does not talk about the “gap” much. It’s probably other people who are obsessed with it. Most normal people don’t care about IQ and don’t judge people solely on how intelligent they are. A person does not need to be super intelligent to be a good person or live a good life.

  14. Liberals are the ones who often seem preoccupied with intelligence. I say let them have the reputation of being “nerdy”. Trump is smart, but he isn’t a nerd.

  15. That’s a big thing with liberals, to make being conservative as uncool. Trump has completely flipped that script and I love him for it.

  16. — The funny thing about Animal House is that I bet the clean cut, all American types were the ones who most appealed to movie viewers.

    Definitely. Everyone in my high school loved those comedies. That’s how the poz wormed itself in. Whites, especially spirited young men, can’t stand living under stifling order, we have to break a rule here and there. This is why we reject arguments such as “what do you care about state surveillance if you don’t do anything wrong?” — because we like a little freedom to do something wrong!

    That’s the spirit behind youth rebellion, and why those college/teen comedies appealed to their target audience. It’s a fun plot, you laugh about “Food Fight!” and that’s it. But the thing is, what you absorbed is a bait-and-switch: they wooed you with harmless rebellion, and sold you patricide.

    A related thought about those comedies. I started watching them when I arrived in the US, and what sat wrong with me is how completely they destroyed the antagonist at the end. I thought on a below-conscious level, “OK, he’s an asshole, but he’s just a teenager, why does the character have to be so humiliated, so completely annihilated?” I liked stories in which antagonists reconciled and learned something from one another. The only exception (where I accepted pure good vs evil) would be stories with antagonists whose deeds are criminally sociopathic, or completely silly cartoons like Tom and Jerry.

  17. That’s a big thing with liberals, to make being conservative as uncool. Trump has completely flipped that script and I love him for it.

    An article at TDS nailed that theme, about how liberals are no longer cool, and they are looking into the mirror and learning that, and what’s more there is a super fancy word from the Greek and the Classics that fits that process perfectly, which the TDS article featured in a most excellent way thereby blending low and high culture, and simultaneously demonstrating their point that it is here on the Hard Right where the action is.

    (This would be a better comment if I could remember the ten-point word from the Greek Tragedies, which word refers to that moment when Glen Close looks in the mirror and her tears wash away her make-up and she sees that she is no longer beautiful.

    In the same way, the liberals embarrass themselves with their fawning over the gay Canadian prime ministers on the cover of Time and the flower dresses and Hare Krishna routine, and eventually they see themselves which is pathetic.)

  18. The TDS article I was referencing was about the liberals and their embarrassment in seeing how gay they actually are, when they put Trudeau on the cover of Rolling Stone.

    The article is worth checking out, it does a better job in describing that “moment when they realize (how gay they are)” and it is profound.

    They put Trudeau and his oh-so-dreamy eyes on the cover and leaning against the desk so you can almost ascertain his circumcision status (hopefully not), and all the girls were so supposed to ooh and ahh but it went wrong.

    Something in the effect just missed, and it was revealed that Trudeau is nothing more than the fantasy boy toy of lonely old ladies.

    I am rambling, … blah blah blah.

  19. A related thought about those comedies. I started watching them when I arrived in the US, and what sat wrong with me is how completely they destroyed the antagonist at the end.

    That is a good take on those flicks.

    It is interesting that we didn’t have any idea, about the subversive aspect to it.

    Porky’s was A BIG DEAL, when it came out and in the early 80s. To young Gen X’ers of the time, it was The “counter-cultural” movie, that your older brother and his friends were all talking about and (more to the point) trying to live up to.

    Subversion question aside though, Porky’s was a stupid and dumb movie. I hear that it was a cult fav in SE Europe though, so what do I know.

    Animal House on the other hand, in spite of the subversion, had some funny gags. Belushi was one of a kind. He was famously Albanian, which goes a long way in explaining that part of his appeal. It’s just the truth that someone with that background might have an advantage in lampooning and making fun of regular people. People from that part of the world ARE more theatrical and dramatic, and they have a different take on the human drama. Much more involved, perhaps.

    Which goes to the point, that WASP American did have its problems that needed lampooning.

    Double secret probation.

    Revenge of the Nerds was the movie that my age set got infected with. How they got us to relate to the nerds, is embarrassing to even consider.

    Every kid at that age, except the one in a hundred, is insecure and not confident.

  20. it was The “counter-cultural” movie

    It wasn’t counter-cultural though, that’s not at all the right word.

    As PA said, it was the “rebel” movie.

    The difference between the rebel and the counter-culture, is a pretty big theme in 20th century America.

    The rebel is James Dean, and the counter-culture is David Crosby.

    They both wore blue jeans though.

    Where is Tom Wolfe when you need him?

    Tom Wolfe is like 80 years old now though. He must be tired.

    Who is the Tom Wolfe for us?

    With all due respect to the noteworthy internet writers, we don’t have one.

    But it’s not the time for us to write about our problems.

  21. I am trying to think of the one movie that most did us in. It keeps on slipping in and out of mind, and now it’s gone.

    It wasn’t Caddyshack. Even then that seemed dated, and a half-generation ahead.

    Vacation was pretty hilarious really. Chevy Chase was funny then. I saw that with my rl fam in the theater — and here’s the punchline: My parents were upset about the incest joke that Audrey’s cousin made about her dad being the best French kisser. omg omg omg lol

    They said something to each other and to us, about how it was “in bad taste.”

    They were right, and the joke was out of place. The whole movie was a showcase of raunchy jokes — Aunt Edna, Audrey’s first period (she was hot), the pool scene nakedness, the poor dog getting dragged to death and Stacy Keach’s very real tears, the goose shit in the pool at the campground — all those things were relatable as the dirty realities of an American family having to suffer through each others’ company (and FARTS) in a long hot car ride cross country.

    But the incest joke was WAY out of place. They couldn’t resist it though.

  22. Some serious Gen X posting.

    The best movie movie of the 80s was without a doubt Breakfast Club.

    And how artsy was it, that they didn’t even tell us WTF IS A BREAKFAST CLUB?!

    How much respect for the audience must John Hughes have had, that he didn’t feel the need to explain that title.

    It is pretty brilliant, really. To this day, I don’t know wtf means breakfast club.

    Of course as adults we know what it means: it’s the “winners of the party” to use a great quote from (of all the stupid slant bitches in the world) Maxine Hong Kingston.

    It is those who made it through the live long day and had something to tell of it, for during the course of it they grew some.

    But in adulthood, if you hang out with the winners at the party, you might get to go out to breakfast with them. They showed this in the Sopranos where after someone i think it was Paulie’s party Tony and Ralph take out Tony’s cousin Brian Cammarata to breakfast and he gives em that idea for the HUD scam.

    To the young teenage audience of the Breakfast Club, how many got those subtle shades of its meaning?

    To this day it works as a metaphor.

    John Hughes wasn’t demeaning the characters neither, he was writing them sympathetically, and even heroically.

    Michael Anthony moreso in Sixteen Candles, but across the board, is a stand-in for a young Hughes.

  23. Which goes to the point, that WASP American did have its problems that needed lampooning.

    In retrospect, maybe the real problem was there were no riots burning down the Hollywood studios who did the lampooning (what’s the yiddish word for lampoon again?). As I’m sure we all know, the subsequent winners aren’t as stupid as the WASPs were; they crush any lampooning against them without mercy.

  24. I’m a boomer but a bit of an outlier. Firstly, I am still a productive business owner and employer: not living off the young ‘uns through entitlements that they’ll never see. But I’m an outlier because I got introduced to the Red Pill later in life (late 50’s). I spent most of my adult life as a card carrying beta white knight, with very unfortunate consequences.

    My point is that before I was Red Pilled there is no way I could have been a good mentor to anyone. I would have parroted all the Blue Pill “wisdom” I heard and accepted my whole life. I know now they were all a pack of lies.

    Every now and then I try to drop some RP wisdom in my son, my nephews, even son’s of friends. But they are all very resistant. It’s very hard for a young man to accept that all the things he’s been told by society – how to succeed in life, with women, etc – are all lies.

  25. Turning a politician into a celebrity is a tendency of the left. I always found it weird since there are many jobs which are cooler than being a politician.

  26. I think the media is really pushing Trudeau as a contrast to Trump. Trudeau is young and good looking and Trump is not. We’ll see how it works out.

  27. Yes… But Trudeau appears faggy and effeminate. Trump tries not to. Limpness is real metric amongst men.

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