PA: Hey Ace, what’s up.
Ace: I have a story for you. Today at lunch I overheard a conversation so fucked-up, I was simply unprepared for what I heard.
You know the herbivore phenomenon in Japan, right? Well, this is worse. So I’m having lunch at a restaurant and there are these two young guys in the booth behind me. They are talking about a friend of theirs getting married — specifically, they found out that his fiancee had gotten carried away at her bachelorette party and made out with some men.
Here is the twisted part: these two fellows I’m eavesdropping on, they agreed that — ready for this? — they won’t say anything to their friend about it, to not ruin the wedding.
Ace: Are you there?
PA: … speechless …. this is too surreal to even call it a violation of “bros before hos.” This is so… new…
Ace: Remember, I noticed this fifteen years ago: America is going to shit because bachelor parties are becoming tame while bachelorette parties are becoming wild.
PA: You were perceptive. Not long after you pointed that out, I traveled through upstate New York and stopped in Batavia. Went to the hotel bar to have a beer after my long drive. There was a bachelorette party at the bar, and some twat in a tiara was prancing around flirting with male patrons. Her drunk friend cornered me while commenting on my wedding band. I was disgusted with the whole scene so I paid for my unfinished beer and went up to my room. Anyway, go on.
Ace: That’s not the end of it. Their conversation continued. I pick up on the fact that these two guys are graduate students — or should I say graaaaduate thtudenths — in North Carolina. And they’re going on about how Durham, Raleigh, and Chapel Hill are the only islands of sanity in that state. The rest of the state, as they put it, is a wasteland of ignorant Trump-voting rednecks.
PA: The dweebs don’t even know their own host-state on their terms. You’d think they’d at least give a shout-out to Blowing Rock.
Ace: They remind me of your Stockings Man archetype — a person who gives up on life. Except that your Stocking Man had started out with a fighting chance and either never tried or tried and failed, and he’s is well aware of his degraded condition — while those two buddy-fuckers are healthy, they have freedom and money, but they have no idea of how … hollow they are.
PA: There is a “dead man walking” quality to men who are so compliant to the feminine imperative that they won’t even alert a friend before he makes a catastrophic mistake. It’s an atrophy of the spirit. To such a degree that if someone came to execute them, they’d go along with it passively.
Ace: Except that when, for example, cartels execute someone, they first torture him for days. Come the knife, he’s broken and welcomes the cut.
PA: Those two haven’t been tortured, they just never cultivated whatever it is that torture beats out of a man. If a killer told them to go behind the restaurant to get shot, they’d be afraid, but they’d obediently walk. Their eyes wouldn’t even be darting sideways to make a break for it as they are led around the building.
Ace: This comes down to each generation’s place in history. Boomers were sentimental — “all you need is love” they sang, and forgot about hate. We GenX’ers never saw what hit us and we got it good and hard — but at least we remember what a blue sky looks like. Those two had lived their entire lives in a cloud of gas.
PA: But there are also positives in every generation. We all do our part, even those two idiots.
Ace: A time to every purpose under heaven. Teenagers are now unanimously for God-Emperor.
PA: A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.
Ace: The kids who are now in elementary schools will laugh at equality. They are Generation Trump.