I haven’t decided on whether to keep the tone serious or make this a LOL-post because my thinking on this heavy subject was spurred by this comical cuckold confession: a man persuades his reluctant wife to have sex with another man in front of him to fulfill what he thought was his cuck fantasy. He describes them starting to have sex, and continues:
It was at this moment that my stomach dropped; hot to cold in a millisecond. I very quickly realized that when I was watching cuckold porn, I wasn’t getting off on being the cuck, I was getting off on being the bull. I felt sick, but I didn’t know what to do; they were already fucking. I sat there, saying nothing. Luckily, after a few minutes, he finished. After it was all done, I rushed him out, told her to get cleaned up and I went to get some chinese food. I sat in my car crying for 20 minutes until it was ready and then went home and pretended nothing was wrong.
For the past week I have been doing my best to clench my teeth and try to forget about it, but I can’t. The way she moaned, the way she grabbed him, the way she looked at him. I cannot get it out of my head. Knowing that I actually let another man, let alone a guy who’s much more masculine and attractive than myself, fuck my wife makes me sick to my stomach. I honestly want to kill myself and it seems like the best solution right now. I genuinely can’t look at myself in the mirror without feeling disgusted. The worst part is that it’s completely my fault. I don’t know what to do. I really really need some advice. I’ve never felt this hopeless before.
Was that a real confession or a fap/troll post? No idea. But since the commenters on Reddit are treating it as a bona fide confession, I’ll let that post launch my own thoughts about what to do, should you do something that you profoundly regret.
In this case, I don’t so much mean an honest error in judgment, but rather a mistake that reveals some flaw of character you have, sabotages your life, lowers your self-regard and others’ opinion of you, and possibly hurts an innocent person. So let’s say that you really screwed up, your stomach drops and you want to die. Here is what you do:
Admit to yourself that you did wrong. Own your mistake. Look in the mirror and tell yourself that you fucked up. This is not the time to spin rationalizations. If there is shared responsibility, it still took you to tango.
Get clean. Take a shower. Kneel down to pray or take a walk and meditate. I did something I regretted once, involving ugly words. In dealing with my moral hangover, I kneeled, crossed myself, said the Lord’s Prayer and asked God to forgive me. I was sincere and felt peaceful afterwards.
Do something. The worst thing you can do is curl up and marinate in your dread. You have things you’ve been putting off that need to be done. Do them. The easier ones first, then the others. Go lift some weights and your anxiety will give way to a calm sense of power. Testosterone is a truth serum that will make you steadier in facing your guilt without equivocation. I once described how a short visit to the gym got me out of a despairing mood and more so, reversed the decline of the United States.
Apologize to the innocent victims. Apologize to the good faith-party you’ve wronged. Here is an example of how to say it: “I’m sorry for my behavior last night. I was wrong to do that and I regret it. It will never happen again.” And you’d either be sure that it will never happen again, or don’t promise that.
Two years ago, a female executive of Korea Air and its parent company made news when she berated a flight attendant and ordered the flight she was on to return to the gate at JFK International Airport because she was unhappy with her macadamia nuts. Properly, she later apologized and resigned her position as executive vice president of the company. Her father, chairman of the company, also took responsibility for his daughter’s behavior:
“I apologize to the people of [South Korea] as chairman of Korea Air and as a father for the trouble caused by my daughter’s foolish conduct,” the tycoon said, according to Reuters. “Please blame me; it’s my fault,” Cho said, according to the New York Times. “I failed to raise her properly.”
A few notes on apologizing:
One: Apologize once; more than once is groveling.
Two: Don’t let a third-party opportunist hijack the occasion for his own gratification. There was a Seinfeld episode in which George Costanza took delight in learning that an acquaintance, as part of his Alcoholics Anonymous program, was preparing to apologize to various people he had wronged. Costanza looked forward to receiving a public apology for some long-ago, trivial slight and when it started becoming clear that there is no apology coming, he pressed for it. In response, the recovering alcoholic laughed and said “No.”
Finally: Never apologize when you are targeted by SJWs. An apology is a personal rectification of your failing, not a political self-denunciation. People are catching on to the fact — one that I exhorted at least four years ago — that you must never apologize to your enemies for telling the truth. As countless examples show, an apology for defying the Narrative triggers your inquisitors into a feeding frenzy, while standing by your words (even if they were not your best performance) gets them to back off as though you had called their bluff.
Make restitutions. Take your earned punch. If you wrongly humiliated someone publicly, apologize publicly. If you caused someone material damage, you’ll have to compensate him. Burned through your family’s savings at a casino? Get a second job to earn back the loss. You drove while intoxicated and killed another person? You have to do your prison time. If you’re not a sociopath, you will understand. Raskolnikov couldn’t resist turning himself in for murdering a nasty old crone.
Men make mistakes. Sometimes really pathetic mistakes, such as that of our mortified cuckold who ruined his marriage and his self-respect. And your mistake — whatever it may have been — is now part of what you are. That’s something you can’t do anything about. But what you can do, is to strive to let your repair of your mistake define you, rather than the mistake itself.
If you’ve wronged a woman, there is another way to expunge your guilt. Have the video below ready, paused on 2:14. Say that you have something to tell her, then press Play — the howl of anguished penitence that pours out speaks to your own deep feelings of regret — and then you stop it on 2:27.